What do you do when two ideologies clash with those of someone you love and whose takes on life you've come to respect over a period of time?
Do u care?
What if you do?
Do you give in?
And then become bitter inside?
Do you take a diplomatic stand?
Do you stick to what you believe?
But at the risk of such a beautiful relationship getting bitter because of your obstinacy?
Even as I write this, I know what I would do.
There are some ground rules by which I live my life. And I can never change them... Come what may.
But then that’s about me? Not you. Is it?
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thank You
Moving is something we do often. By Moving I mean changing jobs.
I used to more than often said my friends. Then one day I decided that I wont move that often. I had joined Lowe.
Three years in one place was unimaginable for me. But today as I look back, I must say were very enjoyable and definitely the best working years for me. Why? do I say that?
Because It taught me a lot. I met people who inspired me. Workoholics. I want to be like them when I grow up I thought.
I met friends. One big fat-ass whom I very fond of. A girl who became my partner. And many more.
But what I really learnt was to tolerance. To tolerate people I hated. I despised.
Imagine going to office and seeing the most depressing face in the world.
I would have run away. But no. I stood there firm and said to myself, this is an art I have to learn. There will be such people in my life. They live. Why... well I dont know. They exist. Why? I again have no answer. But yes it's a challenge to see them everyday and still focus on what you are and what you want to achieve.
I am thankful to the most depressing person in my life. He taught me a lot. He taught me what I should never be. What I should never do. He taught me endurance.
What he taught me was to look past people. Believe that they dont exist. To close eyes and yet keep them open.
Wow. that's a lot. But I wonder why don't they teach this in school. Would have been much more easy wouldnt it?
But nonetheless it's still a learning and Thank You. O depressing face!
I used to more than often said my friends. Then one day I decided that I wont move that often. I had joined Lowe.
Three years in one place was unimaginable for me. But today as I look back, I must say were very enjoyable and definitely the best working years for me. Why? do I say that?
Because It taught me a lot. I met people who inspired me. Workoholics. I want to be like them when I grow up I thought.
I met friends. One big fat-ass whom I very fond of. A girl who became my partner. And many more.
But what I really learnt was to tolerance. To tolerate people I hated. I despised.
Imagine going to office and seeing the most depressing face in the world.
I would have run away. But no. I stood there firm and said to myself, this is an art I have to learn. There will be such people in my life. They live. Why... well I dont know. They exist. Why? I again have no answer. But yes it's a challenge to see them everyday and still focus on what you are and what you want to achieve.
I am thankful to the most depressing person in my life. He taught me a lot. He taught me what I should never be. What I should never do. He taught me endurance.
What he taught me was to look past people. Believe that they dont exist. To close eyes and yet keep them open.
Wow. that's a lot. But I wonder why don't they teach this in school. Would have been much more easy wouldnt it?
But nonetheless it's still a learning and Thank You. O depressing face!
Why?
A small girl came to my house today.
She was all of four.
As she saw me without any remorse she said," Why you so fat?"
I looked at her amazed.
But why? It was such a simple question.
I mumbled an answer and thought why aren't we so simple when we grow up.
Why are we taught
to fake our emotions. Hide our feelings, questions, anger?
And then I looked at her parents who almost looked embarrassed
and I knew the answer to my why.
She was all of four.
As she saw me without any remorse she said," Why you so fat?"
I looked at her amazed.
But why? It was such a simple question.
I mumbled an answer and thought why aren't we so simple when we grow up.
Why are we taught
to fake our emotions. Hide our feelings, questions, anger?
And then I looked at her parents who almost looked embarrassed
and I knew the answer to my why.
People?
Twenty storeys
That’s what it looked like
One huge giant in front of me.
Ok I said to myself
This is it
As I climbed
Smiled at each face which crossed me
But each one…
They didn’t smile.
They laughed.
Laugh?
That’s supposed to be nice,
I opened the door
17th floor
Wow
So many suns
So many moons.
So many smiles
So many laughs
Six months
A big party
Huge moon
Celebration
As I walked I realised
All laughed again
What was so funny
Why couldn’t I laugh
Just when I was pondering
Some of them walked towards me
They kept coming closer
And closer
One pulled me
Other dragged me
I screamed
But people were laughing
Suddenly I was in the middle
And they all were around
Walking and clapping
And of course laughing
One by one they tried to touch me
Nails on my had
My head band on the ground
Finally one tore me blouse
They stripped me
One by one
They hurt me
They laughed
I yelled
I hid
I shrugged
I wept
Not one
Who came
Helped me
Why?
They laughed
Louder
Cheered
Clapped
One by one they left
Seventeenth floor
I shut the door
I had lost my shame
The mirror
Sinfully saw me
Naked from within
Stripped of all myself
I sat
One more sun
I walked out
So many faces
They all smiled
They didn’t laugh?
Why aren’t they laughing?
Why am I not upset?
Next day a young man
A gentleman
A taxi and a suitcase
Sixteenth floor
Walked up to me
Smiled
I tried to smile
But I could hear myself laugh
Why am I laughing
Laughing at someone I don’t know
What happened to me
I had become one of them
Them?
No
I had become
The people
That’s what it looked like
One huge giant in front of me.
Ok I said to myself
This is it
As I climbed
Smiled at each face which crossed me
But each one…
They didn’t smile.
They laughed.
Laugh?
That’s supposed to be nice,
I opened the door
17th floor
Wow
So many suns
So many moons.
So many smiles
So many laughs
Six months
A big party
Huge moon
Celebration
As I walked I realised
All laughed again
What was so funny
Why couldn’t I laugh
Just when I was pondering
Some of them walked towards me
They kept coming closer
And closer
One pulled me
Other dragged me
I screamed
But people were laughing
Suddenly I was in the middle
And they all were around
Walking and clapping
And of course laughing
One by one they tried to touch me
Nails on my had
My head band on the ground
Finally one tore me blouse
They stripped me
One by one
They hurt me
They laughed
I yelled
I hid
I shrugged
I wept
Not one
Who came
Helped me
Why?
They laughed
Louder
Cheered
Clapped
One by one they left
Seventeenth floor
I shut the door
I had lost my shame
The mirror
Sinfully saw me
Naked from within
Stripped of all myself
I sat
One more sun
I walked out
So many faces
They all smiled
They didn’t laugh?
Why aren’t they laughing?
Why am I not upset?
Next day a young man
A gentleman
A taxi and a suitcase
Sixteenth floor
Walked up to me
Smiled
I tried to smile
But I could hear myself laugh
Why am I laughing
Laughing at someone I don’t know
What happened to me
I had become one of them
Them?
No
I had become
The people
One day
Green lawn,
Purple dahlia, or do they call it lilac..
white shorts uncle..
the only colour he wears,even the hair,
sheru, just one step behind
Tring tring,
Doodhwalla
Sleepy sweaters, in reds and blues,
A morning sun
An eventful day it will be.
A wardrobe of grey
Buy today will be magenta
Where is it
Behind that green skirt
Hiding was it?
A little honey and milk
Dusky face, save the hair.
Get ready girl
An eventful day it will be.
Tring tring
Call of the girls. Oh no Not today.
Yellow beds. Now ochre.
Chi Chi. Change that girl.
Boiling sambhar!Turn that knob.
Fry that papad! Put the lid.
Is there decoction? Ah.
An eventful day it will be.
Some beauty sleep?
Naah!
Ding dong!! Is that?
Will it be an eventful day?
Three thirty.
Fidgety fingers!
Lonely streets.
Moms asleep.
Sambhars cold.
Papad is soft.
Make up is gone
Dahlia is wilted.
The waiting.
For an eventful day to begin!
Purple dahlia, or do they call it lilac..
white shorts uncle..
the only colour he wears,even the hair,
sheru, just one step behind
Tring tring,
Doodhwalla
Sleepy sweaters, in reds and blues,
A morning sun
An eventful day it will be.
A wardrobe of grey
Buy today will be magenta
Where is it
Behind that green skirt
Hiding was it?
A little honey and milk
Dusky face, save the hair.
Get ready girl
An eventful day it will be.
Tring tring
Call of the girls. Oh no Not today.
Yellow beds. Now ochre.
Chi Chi. Change that girl.
Boiling sambhar!Turn that knob.
Fry that papad! Put the lid.
Is there decoction? Ah.
An eventful day it will be.
Some beauty sleep?
Naah!
Ding dong!! Is that?
Will it be an eventful day?
Three thirty.
Fidgety fingers!
Lonely streets.
Moms asleep.
Sambhars cold.
Papad is soft.
Make up is gone
Dahlia is wilted.
The waiting.
For an eventful day to begin!
A stone who taught me to live
I sat in the corner till a face looked at me.
Hi! He said.
And he had me wondering…
“What a face”…A stone
Gum? He asked.
What do I do in return, I asked?
He smiled.
Ah.. The Stone that smiled.
A smile that, changed things.
Things that became important.
Importance that he gave me..
Me that wasn’t me anymore.
He scared me.
He lied to me.
But I knew him too well.
I hated him for what I knew.
He taught me to love myself.
He taught me to love people.
He taught me to love him.
He taught me to Love.
We so different.
Yet so similar!
Two worlds
That saw the same things.
Then he met her.
And I..
I was happy. One more. I thought.
Till he went away.
Till I realized.
That I had let something go.
That I had let someone go.
That someone had become important
She was lovely.
She was so right for him
I hated her.
I wished I knew voodoo.
I opened the cupboard.
I picked up that dagger.
He was quiet, sitting, calm.
I stabbed him.
I hurt him.
As I saw the blood trickle down his shirt,
There was blood all over my face.
I ran. Ran so fast as if my legs weren’t mine.
Opened the tap.
Washed my face.
A face so ugly so gruesome.
The mirror laughed at me.
The door rang.
I opened it.
A face looked at me.
Hi! He said.
And he had me wondering…
“What a face”…A stone?
Hi! He said.
And he had me wondering…
“What a face”…A stone
Gum? He asked.
What do I do in return, I asked?
He smiled.
Ah.. The Stone that smiled.
A smile that, changed things.
Things that became important.
Importance that he gave me..
Me that wasn’t me anymore.
He scared me.
He lied to me.
But I knew him too well.
I hated him for what I knew.
He taught me to love myself.
He taught me to love people.
He taught me to love him.
He taught me to Love.
We so different.
Yet so similar!
Two worlds
That saw the same things.
Then he met her.
And I..
I was happy. One more. I thought.
Till he went away.
Till I realized.
That I had let something go.
That I had let someone go.
That someone had become important
She was lovely.
She was so right for him
I hated her.
I wished I knew voodoo.
I opened the cupboard.
I picked up that dagger.
He was quiet, sitting, calm.
I stabbed him.
I hurt him.
As I saw the blood trickle down his shirt,
There was blood all over my face.
I ran. Ran so fast as if my legs weren’t mine.
Opened the tap.
Washed my face.
A face so ugly so gruesome.
The mirror laughed at me.
The door rang.
I opened it.
A face looked at me.
Hi! He said.
And he had me wondering…
“What a face”…A stone?
Tonight
Tonight is the night when I cant sleep.
Tonight is the night when I missed myself.
The night is black. As black as it was?
I guess not.
It’s me who has got lost in the black tonight.
To find me. I need a map.
My map is in my mind.
My mind is in me.
But me is the one I have to find.
Am I making sense?
But how? I have lost my mind. I have lost me.
Tonight.
Tonight is the night when I missed myself.
The night is black. As black as it was?
I guess not.
It’s me who has got lost in the black tonight.
To find me. I need a map.
My map is in my mind.
My mind is in me.
But me is the one I have to find.
Am I making sense?
But how? I have lost my mind. I have lost me.
Tonight.
Mr Smirk
A smirk follows me everyday.
I turn to look at it. I run away.
It’s following me. Ah I see a tree behind the house.
Let me hide behind the tree. Ha ha. Intelligent I think.
May be it will miss me and walk past, but nah.
It follows me.
I know there is no escape.
I close my eyes may be I will not see it. It has no sound. I wont hear it.
I slowly open my eyes hoping it’s a dream but no.
I woke into my dream. My eyes are open but I am dreaming.
It’s when I close my eyes. When I am alone. It silently creeps in front of me and stands there.
I can see it from the corner of my eye.
I wake up. I can’t keep my eyes open for long.
I know it will shut soon but I am hoping that my eyes remain open.
I show it interesting things so it doesn’t close but my mind doesn’t control it. It doesn’t listen to me.
It closes. Ad there I know my friend mr.smirk is there right in front of me.
No escaping. Revelation. Knowledge. Fear.
I turn to look at it. I run away.
It’s following me. Ah I see a tree behind the house.
Let me hide behind the tree. Ha ha. Intelligent I think.
May be it will miss me and walk past, but nah.
It follows me.
I know there is no escape.
I close my eyes may be I will not see it. It has no sound. I wont hear it.
I slowly open my eyes hoping it’s a dream but no.
I woke into my dream. My eyes are open but I am dreaming.
It’s when I close my eyes. When I am alone. It silently creeps in front of me and stands there.
I can see it from the corner of my eye.
I wake up. I can’t keep my eyes open for long.
I know it will shut soon but I am hoping that my eyes remain open.
I show it interesting things so it doesn’t close but my mind doesn’t control it. It doesn’t listen to me.
It closes. Ad there I know my friend mr.smirk is there right in front of me.
No escaping. Revelation. Knowledge. Fear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)